The Tenth Person: My Umbrella

This post was partially written on an airplane headed for Charlotte, North Carolina in December of 2007. I had every intention of posting it eventually… perhaps I was just waiting for the correct time and place. I think it’s now.

As I headed down to North Carolina from New York/LaGuardia, I was reading the January 2008 issue of O Magazine. I am not specifically an Oprah fan. I DO DVR the show and I DID thoroughly enjoy several of the articles in the magazine. Rather I appreciate what I am able to access by viewing the show or perusing the magazine. Oprah is a queen – therefore she obtains access to the best. The best writer, producers, photographers. The best in acting, media and product. So while being SO OPRAH can, at times, get on my nerves… I drink in the vast knowledge and/or experience I can glean from my living room, airplane seat, etc just by following her as another passenger her OPRAH TRAIN. I like to think that, as an intelligent person, I can sort out the OPRAH FACTOR and what message is being put out there to absorb in my own way.

So as I was reading the magazine a quote just about LEAPED off the page and bit me squarely on the ass. The quote was on page 44 in a section entitled Note to Self. While the quote is of in itself, somewhat profound in my view, what was more profound was the timing in finding it. I was on my way to visit the very person that the quote reminded me of. Carrie.

From O Magazine, January 2008 issue, page 44, Note to Self: Step Out of Line:

“For every nine people who denounce innovation, only one will encourage it… For every nine people who do things the way they have always been done, only one will wonder if there is a better way. For every nine people who stand in front of a locked door, only one will ever come around and check the back door.

Our progress as a species rests squarely on the shoulders of that tenth person. The nine are satisfied with things they are told are valuable. Person 10 determines for himself what has value.” – Za Rinpoche and Ashley Nebelsieck, in The Backdoor to Enlightenment (Three Leaves)

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. I count myself very lucky to have several friends that this could apply to… but on this day, at this time it made me think of Carrie. This quote is dead on. Our society is largely dependent on such people to not just sustain us – but to move us forward. To not just be present, but to be ALIVE. To be ENTHUSIASTIC. To THRIVE and bring out the best in others.

Carrie is the first to tell you about all the shit she fails at. I swear the woman keeps a book called WHY CARRIE SUCKS AND WHAT SHE NEVER FINISHED. The creations that miss the mark. The disappointment that comes when she feels overwhelmed, overworked, overstressed and under appreciated. You’re thinking, “we all do that.” Yes we do. We may not keep the BOOKS like Carrie does but we get disappointed, heartbroken and deflated.

Where Carrie is different is that instead of remaining IMMOBILIZED – she catapults forward. Maybe not RIGHT AWAY – but good GOD give a girl a moment, arrrrrrright? Jesus, Mary & Joseph. But before you can pass her another tissue, she is gone. At it again. Making changes. Refining. And always making it hers.

In my experience Carrie is ALWAYS thoughtful to others, always making her family and friends her top priority. Always remaining faithful no matter what is thrown at her.

Being around Carrie makes me want to try harder. Be MORE. Dream BIGGER. BELIEVE. So in that she has another gift. To inspire. She walks the walk. She’s authentic.

This is where I pick up the post from where I left off in December. And today Carrie posted about something she was having an internal struggle with… something personal and difficult. And when she posted it I immediately thought of this quote and this unfinished post and knew I needed to finish it.

I mean the bitch is always propping MY ass up when I’m down. I cannot even tell you what a hormonal volatile mess I was the year we tried to conceive Seamus. There was Carrie… pregnant and SICK AS A FRIGGIN DAWG morning noon and night… and she listened to me cry each time or rage each moment as if I hadn’t just the day before. She didn’t pity, she empathized. ANNNNND she had the fortitude to still be kind and loving when *I* turned around after getting pregnant (finally) and cried about having the pukes myself.

How do I know Carrie? We met online. We have physically been in each others presence on 5 occasions in the past 5 years. However there are very few days that go by with out one of us touching base with the other. Throwing out a life line in the form of an email, text, twitter or blog comment. We rarely talk on the phone (I’m SO not a phone person but she loves me anyway). But Carrie just gets me. Like it that soul sister sort of a way. We can talk about shit, we can say nothing. We can get jealous or argumentative. We can practically full on mouth kiss and hump each other. We just GET each other.

I could go on and on but it’s getting late and there is just not enough beauty sleep in the WORLD for me these days. So I’ll stop kissing Carrie’s ass (did I mention she bakes AMAZING goodies? and she pimps me out constantly!) and leave you with this other quote… much more well known than the first I referenced. But just as applicable to Carrie, aka my umbrella.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”